Pumpkin Desserts That Are Not Pumpkin Pie

I want to say something controversial and then immediately soften it. Pumpkin pie is fine. It is fine. It is the beige cardigan of desserts, it shows up every year, it does its job, and nobody has ever run across a room for a slice of it.

Meanwhile there is a whole world of pumpkin things that are genuinely worth the calories, and I have been working through it since roughly the second week of September, which is when I got pregnant enough to stop pretending I have restraint. Here is everything that earned a spot, including the one that cracked down the middle and made me say a word my kids repeated later.

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First, the Can Situation

Buy pumpkin puree, not pumpkin pie filling. The cans look almost identical and they sit right next to each other and I have grabbed the wrong one twice. Pie filling is already sweetened and spiced, so if you use it in a recipe calling for puree you end up with something cloying that will not set. Read the label. I am telling you because nobody told me.

Pumpkin Bars with Cream Cheese Frosting

This is the one I make most. Whisk 4 eggs, 1 and two thirds cups sugar, 1 cup oil, and a 15 ounce can of puree. Add 2 cups flour, 2 teaspoons baking powder, 2 teaspoons cinnamon, 1 teaspoon salt, 1 teaspoon baking soda, half a teaspoon each of nutmeg and ginger. Spread in a greased 9 by 13 and bake at 350 for 28 to 32 minutes. Cool completely before frosting or you will have soup.

Frosting is 8 ounces cream cheese, half a cup softened butter, 2 cups powdered sugar, 1 teaspoon vanilla. Makes 24 bars. They keep 4 days in the fridge and honestly taste better on day two. A good 9 by 13 pan with a lid is the pan I reach for more than any other thing I own in October.

Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookies

The trap here is that pumpkin makes cookies cakey, and a lot of people think that means they failed. They did not fail, that is just what pumpkin does. If you want them chewier, blot the puree with paper towels first to pull out moisture. Use half a cup of puree, not a whole cup, to 2 and a quarter cups flour. Chill the dough 30 minutes, scoop with a cookie scoop, bake at 350 for 11 minutes. Pull them when the centers still look underdone.

Pumpkin Dump Cake

Absurdly easy and absurdly good. In a greased 9 by 13, whisk a 15 ounce can of puree, a 12 ounce can of evaporated milk, 3 eggs, 1 cup sugar, and 3 teaspoons pumpkin pie spice. Sprinkle a dry yellow cake mix evenly over the top, do not stir, then pour a cup of melted butter over the whole surface. Bake at 350 for 50 to 55 minutes. The top goes crisp and buttery, the bottom stays like custard. Serve warm with whipped cream. The only failure mode is not covering the cake mix completely with butter, which leaves dusty dry patches.

Pumpkin Snickerdoodles

Standard snickerdoodle dough with half a cup of puree swapped in for one egg, rolled in cinnamon sugar with a pinch of nutmeg. Bake at 350 for 10 to 12 minutes. These are soft and pillowy and they go stale faster than a regular cookie, so eat them within two days or freeze them. Pumpkin baked goods almost always have a shorter shelf life because of the moisture, which is worth knowing before you make a triple batch on a Sunday.

No Bake Pumpkin Mousse

For when the oven is full. Beat 1 cup heavy cream to stiff peaks. In another bowl mix 1 cup puree, 4 ounces softened cream cheese, half a cup powdered sugar, and 2 teaspoons pumpkin pie spice until totally smooth. Fold the whipped cream in gently in three additions. Layer it in glasses with crushed gingersnaps. Make it up to 24 hours ahead, and add the cookies right before serving so they stay crunchy.

Pumpkin Bread That Is Actually Moist

Two loaves worth. Mix 3 and a half cups flour, 2 teaspoons baking soda, 1 and a half teaspoons salt, 1 teaspoon cinnamon, 1 teaspoon nutmeg. Separately whisk 3 cups sugar, 1 cup oil, 4 eggs, a 15 ounce can of puree, and two thirds cup of water. Combine, divide between two greased loaf pans, bake at 350 for 60 to 70 minutes until a skewer comes out with a few crumbs. Cool in the pan 15 minutes, then turn out. Wrapped tight, it keeps 4 days on the counter and 3 months in the freezer.

Pumpkin Cheesecake Bars

Press a graham crust into a 9 by 9, bake 8 minutes at 325. Beat 16 ounces cream cheese, three quarters cup sugar, 2 eggs, 1 cup puree, 1 teaspoon vanilla, 2 teaspoons spice until just combined, and stop mixing the second it comes together. Overbeating pulls in air, and air is what cracks a cheesecake. Bake at 325 for 40 minutes until the center has a slight jiggle. Cool on the counter an hour, then chill at least 4 hours. Overnight is better.

The One That Cracked

Pumpkin roll. The classic, the one your aunt makes, the one that looks like a beautiful spiral on a doily. I baked the thin sheet cake, turned it out onto a powdered sugar towel, rolled it up warm like the instructions said, and when I unrolled it to fill it the whole thing split into three pieces. I made a trifle out of it and told everyone it was on purpose.

What went wrong, for the record, is that I baked it two minutes too long. A pumpkin roll cake needs to come out at 13 to 15 minutes at 375 and it will look barely done. Over-bake it even slightly and it loses the flexibility to roll. If yours cracks, layer it with the filling in a bowl and call it a trifle. Nobody has ever complained about a trifle.

What I Would Skip

Anything that asks you to roast and puree your own pumpkin. I have done it. It takes ninety minutes, it is stringier and wetter than canned, and canned is made from a better squash anyway. Also skip pumpkin spice extract, which tastes like a car air freshener, and skip anything labeled pumpkin flavored that does not contain pumpkin.

My Freezer Plan

• Pumpkin bread, wrapped in plastic then foil, 3 months, thaws on the counter in 3 hours
• Cookie dough scooped into balls and frozen on a sheet, then bagged, bake from frozen plus 2 minutes
• Sausage of unbaked bar batter, no. That does not work. Bake the bars, freeze them unfrosted
• A set of loaf pans and an offset spatula are the two cheap things that made my fall baking noticeably less annoying

Pick One and Start There

If you have never made any of these, start with the dump cake. It is nearly impossible to ruin, it makes the house smell incredible, and it takes eleven minutes of effort for a dessert people talk about.

Tell me in the comments which pumpkin thing is non-negotiable in your house. I am specifically looking for a pumpkin roll technique that works, because mine is still in pieces, emotionally.

xo, Pam